The Issues are in the Tissues

Tension and tightness become the norm until you choose to do something about it

I learned this when my life took its first detour.

I moved to California from the east coast of the United States. I arrived in Silicon Valley fresh from management consulting and my first tech startup. I had my picture in Fortune magazine by the time I was 24. I had high hopes for my product strategy position at one of the largest software companies based in the valley. I had made it through a reduction in force (RIF) and the elimination of my boss and team. However, in my new role, the culture was even more toxic than before, and no matter how hard I worked, none of it mattered. It kept getting worse, and then, one day, I cried in the bathroom at work. My body was telling me something my mind didn’t want to hear. I was a cog in a machine going nowhere fast. 

Bathroom tears – they happened multiple times – became my tipping point. They might have been the first time I listened to my body. Things were not okay. I was not okay. Lost and burned out, I followed the advice of a friend and drove down the jagged California coast to a retreat center in Big Sur called Esalen. It was a place that promised healing and transformation. What started as a weeklong spiritual retreat with a Shaman became nine months of immersion into healing traditions from around the world. 

After living at Esalen for a few months, my friend introduced me to a healer who looked at me and said, “You look like someone who could use some bodywork.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but the offer for free healing work was too hard to pass up when I had no income. 

What I thought would be a light massage wasn’t. Instead, it was a deep tissue modality designed to release old blocks and aberrations in the body. It was intense, even painful at times, but as I confronted and breathed through the pain, bit by bit, I released the armor I had built over my lifetime so far. After he worked the left side of my body, I stood up. I could not believe how differently I felt.

I looked outside the window; the sky was bluer, the grass greener. I could taste the aliveness as my eyes feasted on vivid, vibrant colors. Sounds and smells became more noticeable, too. All my senses were awakening from slumber, now heightened and clear.

The bodywork practitioner told me to look in the mirror. Standing in front of the mirror, I could visibly see the change. I was lopsided. The left half of my face was softer, my left shoulder was lower, my left leg was straight, and all parts relaxed. In contrast, my right side was more chiseled, sharp, and braced for an attack. But thanks to the work on the left, I felt an intense calm, like staring out on a deep blue lake. It was calmer than I could ever recall. My head was still. My mind was quiet. I grinned. Even my smile was crooked. The side he worked on felt free and light, the other heavy and numb. “Let’s do the other side,” I said.

At that point, I’d been at Esalen for months and soaked up much it offered. I tried therapy, punched pillows, did cleanses, and even started a strict diet of raw and living foods while binging on self-help books. But it only took one session of this deep and somewhat painful work to feel at peace within myself. I just felt better. 

I didn’t have to think or reason through my issues or hangups. I could breathe into the pain as it was being confronted layer by layer in my body and let it go. I would learn later that Dub Leigh, the founder of Zen Bodytherapy™ (body therapy), created this work. Dub was a primary student of Ida Rolf, a legend at Esalen, as both healer and founder of Rolfing bodywork. 

The Issues are in the Tissues

Working with the body taught me that the issues are in the tissues. My body carefully stored a lifetime of my unprocessed thoughts and emotions in its muscles and fascia - like baggage. I was amazed to discover how much energy I had expended to keep it together over the years. Which meant I kept holding on to all the stuff (my life experiences) that I didn’t have time to process. I stood taller, felt younger, and became lighter when I stopped holding on. Wow! Receiving bodywork taught me to look at my body and life differently. 

Fast forward to today. When I converse with others, I hear words. But often more telling are the micro variations in tone of voice, the speed or quality of the person’s breathing, and their posture. It’s a constant stream of data. The body is constantly communicating to ourselves and others. My intent in sharing this with you is to inspire you to listen. Because the body can be our greatest ally when we learn to partner with it. If you want to change how you think and feel, change how you hold and carry yourself. If you want to be able to access new streams of information, seek out trained practitioners who can help you let go of the blocks in your body.